My first daughter was born to parents who had it all figured out – we’d read the books about parenting styles, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, Baby Sign, the list
goes on and on. She took very little time to whip us into shape and teach us that we knew absolutely NOTHING about parenting, including, but not limited to parenting styles, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. Baby Sign didn’t matter, because she wasn’t going to sign to us at age 3 days, no matter how much desperation drove us to pray that she would. IF SHE WOULD JUST TELL US WHAT SHE NEEDED! Hannah, the high-needs baby, wanted to nurse. She did NOT want to have a bottle. Ever. Ever. Ever. She wanted to nurse. We began pretty well in the hospital, but began hitting bumps when we got home. I couldn’t figure out how to latch her on really well, because that thing that I’d heard about how it wouldn’t hurt if they were latched on correctly turned out to be not as true as I’d hoped. And engorgement threw me for a loop – I had NO IDEA. I hit a fairly large bump about three days in. I, in my sleep-deprived, middle-of-the-night stupor, let her latch on improperly. I developed a crack in my nipple. It didn’t heal for over three months. Those three months contained pain for me every time my baby nursed. Every single time.
Finally, I got the help I needed. And I realized that there had been warning signs in those first few days of small bumps in our breastfeeding road. Had I recognized that I didn’t have a clue and needed some serious help, my breastfeeding journey might have been really different. Because of my determination to soldier on and not ask for help, I ended up having about 9 months of major breastfeeding problems. Hannah helpfully encouraged me to continue breastfeeding by not ever taking a bottle with any degree of success at all (until, at 6 months old, she figured that I wouldn’t switch over to pumping full-time if she occasionally took a bottle), but I know in my heart that, had she been willing to take a bottle, I would probably have given up the breastfeeding struggle. I often feel guilty about the friends who saw me during those days, because I’m convinced that I made breastfeeding a far more frightening experience than it needed to be for them. It turns out that most people don’t experience 9 or more months of major complications when they’re breastfeeding, starting with a crack at 3 days and mastitis at one week. When I feel tempted to wallow in guilt about all of that, though, I realize that perhaps I set them up for success by reinforcing the idea that they should get help as soon as possible with any breastfeeding problem. So maybe my pain has helped someone.
And I hope it helps others, too. Get the help you need – early and often, if necessary.
La Leche League is a fantastic resource. There are lactation consultants and all kinds of medical professionals who help women with breastfeeding.
Dr. Jack Newman has a fantastic website with all kinds of helpful information. Feel free to call out other helpful sites that you like, too. Books abound! The trick is, nobody is going to come and demand to help you – they won’t know! You have to be proactive in this. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your baby, ask for help!
goes on and on. She took very little time to whip us into shape and teach us that we knew absolutely NOTHING about parenting, including, but not limited to parenting styles, natural childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. Baby Sign didn’t matter, because she wasn’t going to sign to us at age 3 days, no matter how much desperation drove us to pray that she would. IF SHE WOULD JUST TELL US WHAT SHE NEEDED! Hannah, the high-needs baby, wanted to nurse. She did NOT want to have a bottle. Ever. Ever. Ever. She wanted to nurse. We began pretty well in the hospital, but began hitting bumps when we got home. I couldn’t figure out how to latch her on really well, because that thing that I’d heard about how it wouldn’t hurt if they were latched on correctly turned out to be not as true as I’d hoped. And engorgement threw me for a loop – I had NO IDEA. I hit a fairly large bump about three days in. I, in my sleep-deprived, middle-of-the-night stupor, let her latch on improperly. I developed a crack in my nipple. It didn’t heal for over three months. Those three months contained pain for me every time my baby nursed. Every single time. 
Finally, I got the help I needed. And I realized that there had been warning signs in those first few days of small bumps in our breastfeeding road. Had I recognized that I didn’t have a clue and needed some serious help, my breastfeeding journey might have been really different. Because of my determination to soldier on and not ask for help, I ended up having about 9 months of major breastfeeding problems. Hannah helpfully encouraged me to continue breastfeeding by not ever taking a bottle with any degree of success at all (until, at 6 months old, she figured that I wouldn’t switch over to pumping full-time if she occasionally took a bottle), but I know in my heart that, had she been willing to take a bottle, I would probably have given up the breastfeeding struggle. I often feel guilty about the friends who saw me during those days, because I’m convinced that I made breastfeeding a far more frightening experience than it needed to be for them. It turns out that most people don’t experience 9 or more months of major complications when they’re breastfeeding, starting with a crack at 3 days and mastitis at one week. When I feel tempted to wallow in guilt about all of that, though, I realize that perhaps I set them up for success by reinforcing the idea that they should get help as soon as possible with any breastfeeding problem. So maybe my pain has helped someone. 
And I hope it helps others, too. Get the help you need – early and often, if necessary. La Leche League is a fantastic resource. There are lactation consultants and all kinds of medical professionals who help women with breastfeeding. Dr. Jack Newman has a fantastic website with all kinds of helpful information. Feel free to call out other helpful sites that you like, too. Books abound! The trick is, nobody is going to come and demand to help you – they won’t know! You have to be proactive in this. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your baby, ask for help! 
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